What triggers happen to you during the holidays?  The holiday season can be a time of lots of emotion. And during this time, it’s easy to have both negative and positive emotions triggered.

To understand how triggers can impact us, here is a quick review of what a trigger can be. Triggers can be sights, sounds, smells or situations that elicit, or “trigger”, an emotional response from something in our past. Sometimes the response is positive and sometimes it’s negative. Sometimes we are aware of the response and why we are having it. At other times, we might not recognize the connection. We’ll share some stories of triggers and responses to give an idea of how triggers might cause emotional reactions.

For me (Lynn), recently we were decorating for Christmas and I heard a strange scratching noise. I yelled to Doug, who was in the other room, asking him, “What was that noise?” He yelled back, “It was a deer.” Immediately, I felt anxious and my heartbeat quickened. I asked, “What do you mean? Where’s the deer?” Doug assured me that it was only a decorative metal deer statue that had fallen over and made that scratching sound. I was relieved!

In this case I recognized that my reaction was triggered by a memory from the past. It was linked to the time when a deer was making a scratching sound on our front step with it’s hooves before it charged through our clear glass storm door. The deer ended up in our front hallway, heading toward the living room. Fortunately, I loudly screamed, “No, no!”, waved my arms and the deer actually backed out the door. The deer was okay and ran off to nearby woods.  I’m someone who helps people overcome their anxiety, yet, look at the emotional reaction I had to a simple sound. It can easily happen when we get negatively “triggered” from the past.

A positive trigger for me happens when we put up sparkling Christmas lights. These lights bring back happy memories of other holidays with loved-ones and signal peace and joy.

Christmas lights bring a different reaction for a friend of ours. In childhood, she was home alone while her single mother worked nights. As she waited for her mother to come home, she enjoyed the glow of the multi-colored lights on their real pine Christmas tree. However, her mother didn’t come home that night. The next morning she learned that her mother was okay and recovering in the hospital from a stroke. Now, colored Christmas tree lights and the smell of a pine tree bring anxiety for her. This story shows that triggers can be very different for people depending on their past experiences.

Different holiday situations can bring triggers. You may be with people you don’t really like. Maybe you have memories of past holidays when there’ve been rifts. Also, holidays often involve eating and drinking. These situations can trigger difficult decisions and anxiety. On the positive side, memories of past holidays can trigger feelings of happiness for being with those you enjoy and love.

For me (Doug), this holiday season triggers feelings that are both sad and happy. Sad, because it is the first Christmas where I won’t have a mother to help us celebrate the Christmas season. She loved Christmas music. The season triggers memories of listening to her play Christmas carols on the piano. She was also an excellent cook. Just the thought of her delicious Christmas goodies triggers my mouth to water. She is sadly missed.

The holidays also trigger happy memories of spending times with extended family, particularly Christmas meals. It was our tradition to have a meal that included the Norwegian foods of lefse and lutefisk. I happen to love lutefisk. I realize that lutefisk is “an acquired taste” and not everyone shares my enthusiasm for this “delicacy”. Actually, lutefisk is only codfish. I realize that the smell and texture are “unique” and can trigger different emotional responses. For those unfamiliar with lutefisk, here’s a definition – “It’s the piece of cod that passeth all understanding!”  There was always entertaining banter between those who enjoyed lutefisk and those who didn’t.

What about you? What triggers are you facing this holiday season? We encourage you to try to be aware of your triggers. Recognize triggers that could cause you negative emotions. Then make a plan on how you want to handle them. Also, enjoy the triggers that bring positive emotions. As you understand and handle your triggers, it will help you have an even happier holiday season!

Chanhassen MN residents, Doug and Lynn Nodland are success coaches and owners of The Balance Center in Excelsior. Contact them at WeCare@TheBalanceCenter.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2020 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.