It’s the holiday season and it’s a time when, in addition to everything else we normally must do, there are additional responsibilities that vie for our time. Things like – baking, cleaning, decorating, entertaining, shopping for gifts and attending parties. The list goes on and on – we can feel overwhelmed and stressed! If you’re experiencing some overwhelm or stress, you’re not alone.

According to a recent poll by the American Psychological Association, “nearly nine out of 10 U.S. adults say something causes them stress during the holiday season”. Some of the top stressors are, finances, finding gifts, missing loved ones, too much to do, food or alcohol issues, and experiencing, or anticipating, family conflict.

Many people feel overwhelmed in general, but it can get worse during the holidays. They see others doing well on social media and feel they need to keep up. Achieving some sense of harmony between work life and personal life seems impossible. Whew! It can feel daunting at times to just keep some semblance of sanity in a fast-paced world.

Often feelings of overwhelm are about doing – having to do this, having to do that. The irony is that this is the season that is calling us to be, not just to do. Be present with our family, be present with our friends, yes, even be present with ourselves. And be present to enjoy the holiday season. After all, we are human beings, so let’s make time to be.

Yes, we understand it doesn’t have to be either/or. We all have things that we have to do and responsibilities we must keep. The goal is to find that delicate balance between the two dynamics of doing and being.

The danger can exist in always doing now, thinking that when we reach a certain point of accomplishment, then we can be. We’ve all heard stories of lives being cut short because of illness or accident, when people never took the opportunity to truly live life because they were always busy doing. A life of constant doing, devoid of being, can contribute to overwhelm.

To beat the stress of overwhelm, here are some ideas from Mayo Clinic. They suggest acknowledging that holidays may be a difficult time, especially if you’ve lost a loved one or there’s discord in relationships. Have realistic expectations, set aside differences, and get professional help if needed. Of course, have a budget so you won’t end up overspending. They also see the value of planning ahead and having periods of quiet time to renew.

We found an interesting quote from Lily Tomlin, “For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.”

In contrast to being overwhelmed, we received an email from a friend who shared his feelings of joy about this holiday season. He said, “My heart once again overflows. Where do those tears of deepest joy come from? Why am I moved so much?” He shared how he and his wife “…love the music this time of the year and all the old Christmas movies. Life is still great and filled with joy and happiness.”

He and his wife also get joy from volunteering. You would think from his description that all of life is perfect. In fact, he and his wife have both experienced some serious health concerns. Yet, they focus on being in the present and enjoying life to the fullest. They are prime examples of being overjoyed, not overwhelmed, during the holiday season.

Yes, it’s easy for us to get caught up in the rush of the holidays, yet we’re taking time to focus on enjoying the season. We’ve attended some concerts. We watched a touching holiday movie. This type of movie brings us back to a time that felt simpler and more peaceful. Even the ads we saw were upbeat. Maybe the holidays are a time to remember the past and get in touch with our values of what’s important in life. It’s also a time when we feel more like kids, pulling out our favorite decorations and filling our home with sparkling lights.

What about you? Do the holidays get you overwhelmed or overjoyed? We encourage you to allow yourself to be realistic about what’s truly meaningful to you, what isn’t, and when to say no. Dr. Daisy Sutherland offers this advice, “The first step in this journey is to remember that a great deal of the stress we feel at the holidays is of our own creation.” So, let go of the overwhelm and embrace what brings you joy – then bring that joy to the world. That also sounds like a good song title! See related video at https://vimeo.com/380187148. And let us know what brings you joy.

Chanhassen MN residents, Doug and Lynn Nodland are success coaches and owners of The Balance Center in Excelsior. Contact them at WeCare@TheBalanceCenter.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2023 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.