Have you ever felt blessed by what someone did, or said, and thought I need to let them know what that meant to me? However, you got sidetracked by life and never got around to letting them know. Sound familiar? It happens to all of us. We had good intentions, but once again we missed an opportunity to express our gratitude or thankfulness.

We are reminded of a quote by William Arthur Ward. He said, “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” Convicted! What got us thinking about this is the fact that Thanksgiving is upon us once again. It’s a time when we feel thankful for the many blessings that have been given to us. We may even express them in a general way if we are with family and friends on Thanksgiving. What if we were to go a step further and actually show our thankfulness? What might that look like?

Here’s one idea for you to consider, not only this Thanksgiving and holiday season, but throughout the year.

Martin Seligman, Ph.D., a leader in the positive psychology movement, and professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, wrote a book called “Authentic Happiness”. In that book are numerous ideas and exercises, that when implemented, have been shown through scientific studies to help a person to not only be more authentically happy, but to also have a more meaningful life. One of the ideas that we’ve had people do, which has had the most emotional, positive, impact on the participants, is the Gratitude Letter exercise.

Here’s how it works. Think of a person who has had a positive impact in your life, for whom you have not fully shown your appreciation. Take time to thoughtfully write a one-page Gratitude Letter to them expressing whatever they have done, what it has meant to you, and how it had a positive impact on you. You might even consider laminating it.

When you have completed it, call them to set up a time to meet them, in person if possible. Don’t tell the person the purpose of the visit. A simple, “I just want to see you.”, works. If an in-person meeting isn’t feasible, then set up a time to talk with them over Facetime, Zoom, or by phone. At the meeting, read your Gratitude Letter to them aloud with feeling and eye contact. Then give them the letter and patiently let the other person react to it. Reminisce about the whatever makes this person special to you. Hint – based on past experience, both of you may want to have a tissue handy.

You may be wondering what makes expressing gratitude so powerful for both the person expressing it and for the one receiving it. It turns out that studies have shown there are two primary culprits that can undermine our feelings of serenity, contentment, and satisfaction. According to Seligman, they are “Insufficient appreciation and savoring of the good events in our past and the overemphasis of the bad ones.”

So, when we express gratitude, it amplifies the appreciation and savoring of past events. Also, when gratitude is coupled with forgiveness, it loosens the power that negative, past events could have to embitter us. In fact, as shocking as it may seem, it can even have the ability to transform bad memories into good ones! That is a concept that’s worth adopting into our lives on a regular basis.

What about you? Is there someone in your life to whom you’d like to give a Gratitude Letter? If you’re like most people, the answer to that question is “Yes!” In fact, there are probably several individuals you can think of who would appreciate receiving a Gratitude Letter from you. So, don’t let life get in the way to prevent you from finally taking action now to show your gratitude to them. This holiday season, a gift of a Gratitude Letter from you to someone special may be the most meaningful gift they could ever receive. And guess what? You’ll find that it’s also a gift to you.

Don’t live in regret by waiting too long to do this. We’re only promised today. We don’t know what tomorrow will be like for others, or for ourselves. By the way, when you do this exercise, we’d enjoy hearing about your experience with giving a Gratitude Letter. Make this one of your most meaningful holiday seasons ever! Happy Thanksgiving! We are thankful for you! See related video at https://vimeo.com/301911204

Chanhassen MN residents, Doug and Lynn Nodland are success coaches and owners of The Balance Center in Excelsior. Contact them at WeCare@TheBalanceCenter.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2023 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.