Do you want more confidence? Recently we saw a picture of a young boy appearing confident as he looked to the sky with an upraised arm, while wearing a red cape. Ah, nothing like wearing a red cape to help you feel like a super hero!

Funny, as kids, we thought it was great fun to do things like wear a red cape. And, it actually made us feel more confident to put on a different persona, like being superman or superwoman. It gave us a chance to step away from any insecurities we might feel, if even for some brief moments.

As we’ve become adults, we can still have those times when we may lose our confidence. Yet, we might not want to go out in public wearing a red cape to raise our confidence.

Ironically, one technique we often teach people is to figuratively cloak themselves with that “cape of confidence”. It’s amazing to watch the transformation that can occur when we ask clients to do that exercise.  We ask them to think about how a super hero wearing that cape of confidence would walk, talk and behave. They immediately stand taller and go from shoulders slumped to shoulders back.

If you could design a cape of confidence, what would it look like? Some people want their cape to be red velvet with white fur so it’s warm, cozy and comfy inside. Others want their cape to be of light, airy material that floats after them as they walk. There are many styles and colors of capes but there’s one feature that most people find helpful when we mention it.

What would it be like to have a cape with many pockets inside and each of the pockets has the answers to the questions you might be asked and the solutions to problems you might encounter? Doesn’t that sound handy? Yes, it can be. Think of the pockets in the cape as places that hold your knowledge and experience. When you  think about it, you already know a lot you can share.

Surprisingly, there’s one special pocket that can help you know what to say in every situation, if needed.  Then you can have confidence that you can respond appropriately. That special pocket reveals the answer of “I don’t know, but I’ll find out for you.” Why that’s an important answer is that no one knows all the answers. Most people will respect your honesty and will appreciate that you care enough to get back to them. Yes, you can look at wearing a cape of confidence as just a mindset, and it is – but it works. It can help you to feel more calm when you think of that cape with all the answers inside of it.

We’ll share a couple times when we used the cape of confidence technique ourselves. I (Lynn) might have mentioned this scary situation to you before. It’s when I had to put on my cape of confidence. I thought I was only along to give support to another doctor as he spoke about different emotions to 200 nurses and doctors at a hospital. However, half way through his speech, and without any advance notice to me, he said, “And now, Dr. Nodland will speak to us about fear.” I quickly cloaked myself with my imaginary cape of confidence – and I made it long enough so the audience couldn’t see if my knees shaking as I spoke. The cape imagery definitely helped to lower my anxiety.

For me (Doug) that cape of confidence came in handy when the Excelsior Gospel Quartet that I was in, was asked to sing our national anthem, without accompaniment, at a Twins baseball game. We also sang the Canadian national anthem because the Twins were playing the Toronto Blue Jays. It’s amazing how vulnerable one can feel when having to sing, standing on the pitcher’s mound, in front of 30,000 people! The cape of confidence sure helped while performing “in the big leagues”.

What about you? Where would a cape of confidence help you? We shared times when the cape helped when performing in public but there are many other times when it can be useful. Think about when you feel vulnerable or unsure of yourself. Maybe it’s in social situations or when you feel you don’t know how to do something. You can always cloak yourself with your imaginary cape of confidence. After all, as Superman said, “There’s a super hero in all of us. We just need the confidence to put on the cape.”

Chanhassen MN residents, Doug and Lynn Nodland are success coaches and owners of The Balance Center in Excelsior. Contact them at WeCare@TheBalanceCenter.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2021 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.