What goes through your mind when someone talks about the ABCs? Perhaps it brings you back to before you started school and were encouraged to learn the ABCs. The ABCs often refer to the basics of something.

Because anxiety is so prevalent in today’s society, we wanted to share the basics of a psychological model that can help when dealing with anxiety and other distressing emotions. It’s called the ABC model. Although the ABC model is simple, it’s also powerful.

Our sharing this information is certainly not meant to replace or interfere with getting professional treatment, if needed, for disturbing emotions. How you feel emotionally also has a big impact on physical health and how much you are enjoying life. That said, we hope the ABC model can be helpful.

The ABC model is often used to help people see things from a different perspective. The model rests on the assumption that events contribute to beliefs that affect behavior. The model can be used to challenge irrational beliefs. As people see things in a different way, it can support behaviors that give different results or consequences. The ABC model has three parts:

• A – Activating event
• B – Your Beliefs about the event
• C – Consequences (which includes your behavioral and emotional response).

We’ll share an example of how the ABC model played out in our life. We were going to Florida for a few days. We made a reservation for a cab to meet us in front of our son’s home, which was close to the airport. We would leave our car there and then it would be only a short cab ride to the airport.

It was an early flight, so when we turned the corner on to the block where he lived, it was still dark outside. A cab was parked a block before our son’s address so we pulled up next to the cab. We rolled down the passenger side window to direct the cab driver to go down another block. Right away, we sensed something wasn’t right. The cab driver was very nervous and asked us several questions. We didn’t understand his anxiety and possible concerns. At that point, we wondered if he was okay to drive us.

He finally agreed to follow us for another block to our son’s home. We got out of our car and walked toward the cab. We asked if there was any problem with him taking us to the airport. He said, ‘No, problem.’  But then added, ‘I was hijacked last week and I had a gun pointed at you the whole time in case you (meaning us) were going to try something like that with me.’

Wow, his reaction and fear stunned us, but at least, when he explained it, we could understand his fear. Applying the ABC model, we were so glad that he looked at the activating event (us driving up next to his car), his belief (that he could be in danger) and that he took time to explore (by asking us questions) what was the reality of the situation. This allowed him to adjust his emotional reactions for the consequences of just driving a friendly couple to the airport.

Author James Allen said, “The outer conditions of a person’s life will always reflect their inner beliefs.” People often base their beliefs on past experiences. When the experience was good, they believe, and look for, good outcomes. When the experience was bad, they believe, and look for, bad outcomes. Because the activating event triggers the beliefs (rational or irrational) which affects the consequences, here’s another example for you to consider: The activating event is that a coworker doesn’t say hello to you.

If your belief is that she doesn’t like you, then the consequence would probably be that you would avoid her also. If your belief is that she’s lost in thought or in a hurry, then the consequence might be that you would want to connect with her sometime soon.

Irrational beliefs can lead to distressing emotions such as anger, anxiety or sadness. Deciding if your belief is rational or irrational will depend being open to exploring to find reality. You might not know what caused your coworker to avoid saying hello, but when you assume positive, it will help you lower anxiety and often can lead to a better relationship.

What about you? When you encounter uncomfortable emotions, we encourage you to use the ABC model to assess the accuracy of your beliefs so you can spend less time worrying, decide the best possible consequences, and enjoy your life even more.

Chanhassen MN residents, Doug and Lynn Nodland are success coaches and owners of The Balance Center in Excelsior. Contact them at WeCare@TheBalanceCenter.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2021 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.