How patient are you? When we were young and became impatient, we remember our parents saying to us, “Patience is a virtue.” We don’t know about you, but for us, those words didn’t necessarily make us feel better or help us become more patient. Then we wondered, what was so “virtuous” about patience anyway?

As we’ve said before, “We don’t know what we don’t know.” That’s particularly true when we were young. As we’ve matured (hopefully), we have learned more about why it’s important to have patience and how having patience, or not having patience, can impact our lives.

Today it seems like the world is becoming increasingly impatient. That’s an observation, not necessarily a judgment call. For example, what once could take days, if not weeks, to communicate by writing with someone in another state or country, now only takes seconds to send and receive a text or email. Instead of going to a library to research something, we can open a computer or talk to our smartphone and get the answers immediately.

We can order products on our computers and, sometimes, within hours, have them delivered directly to our door. Yes, technology has contributed to us changing our expectations in many ways, such as how quickly we can communicate with others, find information or receive products.

We can become conditioned to thinking, if we have to wait for it, it’s not worth it. The words, “instant gratification” often are seen as a way of life, rather than as something that can have negative consequences. We could benefit from rediscovering the power of patience.

So, why is having patience important? A Chinese proverb says, “One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.” As we reflect on this, we see how having patience, or lack of it, can have serious consequences. It can affect us and go on to affect others in our personal and work life.

Let’s look at how we can be more patient with ourselves. Ever notice what you do and what you say to yourself if you make a mistake? It’s easy to put yourself down and say mean things like, “That was so stupid. I should know better.” Instead practice patience with yourself. Encourage yourself by saying something like, “I learned from that and I’ll do it differently next time.” Saint Francis de Sales said, “Have patience with all things. But first of all with yourself.”

When we’re not patient with ourselves, it’s easy to get stressed and frustrated. When stressed, our bodies send out stress hormones that can, over time, be damaging to our health. The next thing that happens is that we often will transfer our frustration onto people around us. Guess what that does to relationships!

It’s almost like impatience is contagious. If we’re impatient, it’s easy to treat others in a way that makes them feel upset, too. Whether it’s at home with family or at work with colleagues, frustration can spread to fill the air and contribute to even more stress.

So, what are some ways to gain more patience? Many people find that meditation and prayer help them to find more peace and calmness. Those practices can help us to slow down and see what’s really important so we can become more patient with ourselves, other people and situations.

Another way to grow patience is to look at situations in a new way. Let’s look at standing in line differently. We may have a tendency to feel stuck and that things are not moving fast enough. So, think about what would be the best use of time? Now many people just pull out their phones and fill the time with listening to a podcast or catching up on messages. We can also just use the time to be curious and people-watch or allow ourselves to actually do nothing but relax. Then when we reach the clerk, instead of feeling grumpy, we can say something pleasant. And we’ll both feel better!

What about you? What can help you have even more patience in your life? We encourage you to identify situations that cause you to feel impatient and try to see those situations as a time to let go of frustration and relax. In many areas of life, such as relationships and achievement it takes patience to reap the rewards. As you rediscover the power of patience, you may also notice the benefits of feeling calmer and more relaxed – even when you stand in line next time.

Chanhassen MN residents, Doug and Lynn Nodland are success coaches and owners of The Balance Center in Excelsior. Contact them at WeCare@TheBalanceCenter.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2021 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.