As we sat in the sun in the front yard, we noticed how quickly things were changing in nature. Yellow leaves were swirling down at a record pace as the wind picked up. It’s coming! What’s coming? Well, fall is officially here. And we all know what comes after fall. The seasons are changes we can’t control. They come, they go, and we have to experience them. 

What changes are you experiencing in your life?  Some changes happen by chance and we have no control over them. Other changes happen by choice and we do have control over these changes. We’ll be looking at the differences that can occur with each of these scenarios.

We’re all experiencing several changes that happened by chance that we have no control over. As Oscar Wilde said, “And all at once, summer collapsed into fall.” But it’s not just that summer has collapsed, it’s easy to feel our normal life has collapsed.  A pandemic arrived and all that comes with facing it, such as social distancing and not being able to attend the events we used to enjoy. Basically, we have to adjust to the “new normal”. When we feel we have no control over these changes, it can be very stressful.

As early as 500 BC, Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, recognized the inevitability of change. He said, “Change is the only constant in life.” Sounds like change is here to stay. So, let’s look at some choices we do have regarding change that’s under our control to help us feel better.

The first thing to do is adjust mindset. We’re not saying this is easy! It can feel devastating if you’ve suffered a significant loss beyond your control, like being laid off from work, your business failing, or the loss of a significant relationship through divorce or death!

You might wonder, ‘How will I go on?’ Changing your mindset involves several things. Allow yourself to acknowledge the losses and that it is a difficult time. Be kind to yourself and don’t feel guilty for things you didn’t do or feel you didn’t do well enough. We are all human and it’s a hard enough time now without beating on ourselves.  We need to be nurturing to ourselves with kind thoughts.

We can also nurture ourselves by taking good care of our body, mind and spirit. The problem is that when stressed, it’s easy to just let go of all those good habits of eating well, exercising and getting enough rest.

In addition, if having less sunlight is affecting you negatively, your doctor might suggest sitting next to a broad-spectrum “happy light” for a few minutes each day. Also, doctors often want to check to see if Vitamin D levels are adequate because this can affect mood. Be sure to reach out for help from your friends, family, faith leaders and professionals when necessary.

When we know it’s best to make good health choices, why do we do things like binge eating and watching too much TV?  It’s because it can temporarily seem helpful, but too much of those activities often lead to feelings of lethargy and maybe even feeling somewhat depressed. However, activities like walking in nature, doing some hobbies, playing games or even learning something new can be helpful. These positive activities can be distractions from the negatives that have happened in your life and in the world. They can raise mood and provide some relief.

We enjoyed being on a Zoom meeting with relatives recently. Staying connected is a great feeling. So get together with people you care about, even if it’s online. Do things that bring you joy.  

Taking time to reflect on what to be grateful for can help to “see the glass half-full.” Even though summer has left, fall is beautiful. We love seeing the many colors of the leaves, the reds, oranges and yellows. The crisp air can be invigorating. We bring out our sweaters and cozy wraps. Sometimes making a pot of hearty soup or doing some baking can give a feeling of comfort. Looking at the positives in life helps us see that there’s a lot to be grateful for even during challenging time.

What about you? What can you do to recognize what change is by chance and what change is by choice?  We encourage you to use some of the ideas we set forth here. As you recognize the choices you have and the changes you can control, it will help you survive, and even thrive, through these difficult times.

Chanhassen MN residents, Doug and Lynn Nodland are success coaches and owners of The Balance Center in Excelsior. Contact them at WeCare@TheBalanceCenter.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2020 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.