There are actually ways that March, chocolates and people are alike. They all can be unpredictable! So let’s first look at March. We’ve all heard the question – “Will March come in like a lion or will it come in like a lamb?” This year it appears to be coming in “like a lamb”.  Does that mean it will go out “like a lion”?

We wanted to find where these ideas got started. They may have come from an English play going back as far as the 1600’s when similar words were written by John Fletcher in his play, A Wife for a Month. He wrote, “I would choose March for I would come in like a lion” and another character adds, “but you’d go out like a lamb.” (Personally, we think “a wife for a month” is not nearly a long enough trial period – but we digress.)

March can often start with cold, harsh blustery winds (like a lion) and end up with mild breezes and gentle weather (like a lamb). March is a very unpredictable month so the opposite can also occur. We can all remember snowstorms happening in the last part of March and raising havoc with going to the state high school basketball tournament.

March is like life, which can be unpredictable. It reminds us of the line from the movie, Forest Gump, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

Just as March and chocolates can be unpredictable, so can the people in our life be unpredictable. People can be like lions, (cold and harsh) or like lambs (warm and sweet). We don’t always know what to expect in March, so even when it seems warm, we still keep our heavy coat nearby, in case we need to protect ourselves from any harsh elements.

Likewise, if something has happened in our past to teach us that people are unpredictable, we’ll protect ourselves to be prepared for anything that might happen.  A person can seem “warm and sweet”, but we may not trust that this season of kindness will remain, so we may choose to protect ourselves from the “harsh cold” that could show up at any time.

In relationships where people were abused physically or emotionally, it’s often difficult for them to fully trust others again. Some of the most unpredictable and confusing situations for people are when someone is kind to them and then is also hurtful.

A parent who is loving and then abusive to a child often leaves the child with emotional scars that are hard to recover from because it is so confusing. As a result, they often feel the seemingly logical thing to do is to avoid significant relationships, especially ones where they could get rejected again and hurt even more. Their ambivalence about close relationships can continue into adult life and until they can learn new positive ways of being in relationships.

There’s a story of a young boy who was getting bullied by boys throwing snowballs at him as he walked home from school. To protect himself, each day he grabbed the lid of a garbage can in the alley and used it as protective armor to fend off the snowballs. Eventually spring came but, unfortunately, he still carried his protective armor with him in life, even when it wasn’t needed. He had encountered so many harsh lions that it was easy for him to assume negative intent by others and be ready to defend himself at any slight thing he considered an “assault”. He needed to develop trust again so he could recognize the warm, sweet relationships when they came into his life.

There’s a saying by Epictetus, an ancient Greek philosopher, that we feel is still so true today. He said, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”  It may be difficult to overcome the negative past but new learning can help to change reactions and behaviors that can foster good relationships.

So, what about you? Have you been hurt and disappointed by the unpredictable behavior of others? It takes time and work to develop trust again. Start by letting go of past hurts. Take off your heavy protective coat so spring can come into your life bringing good relationships. This is a new moment in your life!

Just as you take care in choosing your favorites from the box of chocolates, when choosing people in your life, we encourage you to pick them wisely so you have the most delicious life!

Chanhassen MN residents, Doug and Lynn Nodland are success coaches and owners of The Balance Center in Excelsior. Contact them at WeCare@TheBalanceCenter.com

© Doug and Lynn Nodland 2021 Articles and videos may be shared in their entirety with attribution.